Big Apple Blog

I ended up rasterbating for my 10th wedding anniversary. It was a lonely activity, but the payoff was pleasurable. Brendon is the one who taught me how to rasterbate. Well, he didn’t teach me first hand, ahheeeemmmm, but he did introduce and explain rasturbation to me so that I had a happy ending . . . and after only my first try! I got skills you see.

Rasterbation, as you might assume, is best done alone in a quiet place. Locking the door is a good idea as well so no one barges in on you. It can get really messy in a hurry if that happens and you might have a lot of explaining to do. You also want to give yourself lots of space if you rasterbate as you don’t want to knock anything over with the constant back and forth movement that is required. Concentration is also very important and you don’t want to be interrupted during rasterbation.

I was tired when I was done. I really got into it and expended quite a bit of energy. I even cracked open a beer to relax, but then remembered I had to clean up before my wife got home. No way I wanted her to know I had been rasterbating, at least not until the time was right.

Well, on our anniversary my wife did find out I rasterbated, actually that was my intention – no more secretive rasterbation. She actually started crying when she found out, but she told me they were tears of joy. I asked her if she too rasterbated but she said no and she said she would love to learn. So, sometime we are going to rasterbate together. I think it will help us bond even more.

I would recommend rasterbation to anyone. Sure you might be a little skeptical at first, but it does not take long to get the hang of it and before you know it, you might be hooked.

As for me, I am comfortable with showing the world the results of my rasterbation. Don’t be shy to look, you’ll be glad you did and you might just tell your friends how cool rasterbation can be. Click here and enjoy.

Click here to get rasterbating on your own. It’s even free, but make sure you have a lot of toner. Why the verb rasterbate was chosen I have no idea. But it does make for interesting dicussion . . .

Well, today marks my 10th wedding anniversary. Our wedding was originally scheduled for April 1st, but upon further consideration, we bumped it back a week.

So, rather than boring you with dialogue and diatribes, today I will bore you with a few pictures. We got married in Korea it’s common to follow both the western style and the traditional Korean style. That meant a lot of changing.

Happy Anniversary Eun Gyoung!

Western Style

Korean Style, kind of like the Korean version of a wedding dress and tuxedo

Our traditional style garb, we actually own this stuff

A trip we took after we first started dating

Don’t ask me why I like to bag on the Ipod, I just do. Maybe it’s kind of like the distaste I have for the Dallas Cowboys calling themselves “America’s Team.” Ipod seems to be the Dallas Cowboys of digital devices to me. Something about endless public adoration for the device just inspires ire for some reason. It only does one thing really well, play music. I don’t know if Apple is purposely slow in adding functionality so that they can have a constant flow of new product lines, or if their engineering departments face challenges my feeble mind cannot comprehend.

What I do know is that if I’m far from home and my battery dies, I want to be able to replace it. Also, I like NPR just about as much as music. That’s why I like my MD player; it provides solutions to both of those problems with a remote that features AM/FM/Weatherband and a TV signal. Great for those times when the wife wants to shop and I want to catch the latest score of a game (hopefully the Cowboys and getting their heads handed to them).

Sony just released news about its answer to the Ipod. Funny that it took them well over three years to respond. They are half way there. The Sony player has a replaceable battery just like those that are so common on digital cameras. And it’s said the battery will last up to 40 hours.

What they do not show is a remote for the device that includes a radio. It’s not that hard to make and include, and if the device featured one, I just might buy it. This is my remote:

One thing you definitely have to give Apple is a name advantage. Sony’s player has the extremely droll name of NW-HD5. Sounds like a droid from a Star Wars movie or something. It sounds cool to say you have an Ipod, but saying you have an NW-HD5 definitely does not have a “coolness” factor.

News on the new Sony device here. Or, if you want to practice your Japanese, here.

The best album you probably have never heard of: Greyboy, Mastered the Art.

This review from Amazon.com sums it up nicely.

Listening to ‘Mastered the Art’ is the acoustic equivalent of running your hand over shag carpet that hasn’t been vacuumed since the seventies – it reveals a surprising accumulation of hidden textures and diverse beats, from Spanish-style acoustic guitars and menacing orchestration to xylophones and Galaga samples (you know the tractor beam sound just before your ship gets taken up). ‘Mastered the Art’ is a gigantic mixed-media canvas that subsumes all the brilliance of his previous albums while adding authentic variation and depth. Like any original work of art, ‘Mastered the Art’ is difficult to categorize – it represents the leading edge in the ongoing revolution that is combining hip-hop, jazz, groove, and funk into unique and powerful musical expressions.

Cranking these tunes makes the walks in NYC that much more invigorating.