Big Apple Blog

How do you know an 8 year old girl has spent some time in your apartment? You open your Pandora account and find a new artist you would have never been caught dead adding to your station list – Miley Cyrus.

Some friends from Philadelphia came to town for the weekend and I am completely wasted. I don’t spend much time around children and let me tell you, they done wore me down. The kids are 8 and 10 and after the weekend I feel like a sleep deprived car accident victim.

I think I want to start a new business in Manhattan. Health Clubs are quite popular but you don’t really need to pay all that money. All you need to do is borrow children for a few hours and you will get a complete body work out, no problem. And at the same time you will be helping somebody else out. It’s a win-win for sure.

Scams are always pretty fascinating, although the fascination most often takes place in the afterglow. When you initially realize you are being scammed it’s never really a pleasant feeling. I encountered one scam in Rio De Janeiro which I think ranks among the most creative and simple scams ever. It also ranks as one of the most disgusting.

So the wife and I are walking along Copacabana Beach in the early evening, stopping to stare at people playing soccer and volleyball with absolutely no schedule in mind – just taking it all in. We had stopped to gander for a while and started walking again when all of the sudden a man runs up from behind me and starts shouting. It took a minute for what he was saying to register because the guy was pretty animated and we had grown accustomed to try to listen to Portuguese rather than English. He was speaking English with a heavy accent and his message turned out to be pretty clear . . .

“Shit, shit, shit on your shoe, YOU HAVE SHIT ON YOUR SHOE! Shit, shit, shit!”

Sure enough, I looked down and there was some shit, yes physical shit, on top of my shoe (flip flops actually, but the slip on ones rather than the ones that fit between your toes). He continued to wave and shout wildly and then came the realization of what was going on . . .

“Five dollars, I clean, only five dollars I clean! I clean shit off of your shoe!”

The scam realization then set in. Unless I had not noticed some dog with a projectile shitting problem it was pretty obvious that the dude had scooped up some dog shit, dumped it on my shoe when I was lazily looking at people one the beach. How am I sure? Well, the shit was on the top of my shoe and no where else. Not on the bottom or the side where it might normally be if one accidentally steps in a pile of shit on the ground.

The dude was pretty adamant about wanting to clean it off but I started to walk quickly away and he eventually gave up. Fortunately it was the beach so I kicked off my flip flop and rubbed it in the sand to clean off the shit. Although it was pretty disgusting, looking back I do give the guy a bit of credit. I encounter people begging for money quite a bit in NYC. I am not much for giving some change to someone just shaking a cup. I am comfortable when someone asking for me compliments it with some sort of gesture, advice, or effort of some sort. The dude in Rio did make an effort and was creative, but it was an effort I was not willing to pay for.

We landed stateside on Monday morning at 6 A.M. Over the past few years I have taken several red eye flights and have discovered that they really are not that bad. They tend to be a little cheaper and there are generally more empty seats which makes it possible to stretch out a bit.

More on Brazil in future entries but for now, this tidbit from the Wired Magazine I read on the way back concerning global warming and the environment:

The fact is, urban living is kinder to the planet, and Manhattan is perhaps the greenest place in the US. A Manhattanite’s carbon footprint is 30 percent smaller than the average American’s. The rate of car ownership is among the lowest in the country; 65 percent of the population walks, bikes, or rides mass transit to work.

I used to be a bit skeptical of city life but it has grown on me . . . as long as I can get away for vacations every once in a while =)

We went to Angra dos Reis, south of Rio, for a day and it was pretty cool. We took a little boat tour, swam, saw some fish and turtles, and hung out on a little island for a while. It did not quite live up to the trip we took to Tortuga Island in Costa Rica but it was still quite cool.

So I’ve been in Brazil for six days now and one thing I love, I have worn socks only one time.